Grief During the Holidays

There is nothing that breaks a heart more than missing out on special moments with special people. Holidays are meant to be spent with loved ones - whether that be your family, or friends. With loss, holidays seem more empty than full.

Grief can come in many forms, and loss can sometimes break you. It can come in the form of shutting down, lashing out, isolating yourself, etc, or everything all at once.

After losing my mom back in January of 2020, my first year of holidays felt empty. Every time a moment came by my heart ached for my mother. All I could feel was grief in the form of a hole in my chest. I let myself feel what I need to feel when it comes to grief in general. There is so much pain in grief, and so much agony in trying to hide the hurt. Luckily I had my sisters to lean on, but that’s not always the case with everyone.

If you’re anything like me, holidays are special in the sense that I get to spend it feeling grateful for the people in my life. I get to celebrate the love in my life, and dealing with loss during a time like that can feel debilitating.

Some things I’ve tried when dealing with grief, is first and foremost letting myself feel it all. Letting it out in whatever way my body needed to do so in whatever moment.

Remembering what you lost does not mean the spirit of them is not all around you. Remembering them in a way where you celebrate the good times can help battle the pain that comes with the memories. My sisters and I share videos and photos of our parents, reminding ourselves of what we once had, while celebrating what we have now. When we take on the holiday spirit in the way of loving remembrance, the beauty in grief can be found.

Holidays are not easy for everyone. This could be someone’s first season without their loved one, and taking time to be there for those people who may be in your life can be a gift of its own. Remember that in grief, there is great loss, but there is also so much love. To grieve is to have loved in the most beautiful way possible. So let yourself feel, let yourself think about those holiday memories. Let yourself find that love you thought you lost when they left. Chances are you’ll realize that the love you felt for them is still there, and in place of grief, you’ve found a way to hold onto the good, beautiful moments, and hope for a more positive future.

Love, Bailey