Accepting That Family Can Be Toxic Too

This is a topic I’ve been wanting to touch on for quite awhile, because it truly hits home with me. To be blunt, people can be horrible. Anyone on earth can and will have toxic traits. I even have toxic traits, everyone has them. But there’s a difference between awareness, and unawareness when it comes to your own personality. I am aware that I can be stubborn, I can spiral really easily when I’m triggered, I shut down over the slightest of things, I’m really bad at spending money when I’m sad. I’m not perfect, but no one expects me to be.

Now when it comes to family, they are their truest selves around one another. You get to experience the nitty gritty of those closest to you, and it can be a lot sometimes. Especially those who are opinionated and like to think they know everything. This post is about that. Family, their toxic traits, and knowing when to let go.

Family is a lot of things, but it should not be judgmental. I have family members who all they like to do is judge. Judge me, judge each other, judge things they think they are experts on. They live off of making you feel small. Now when it comes to my mental health, I’ve had quite a journey, and I take pride in my growth and awareness. But there were people in my family who doubted it. Called me attention seeking, and selfish. And it hurt, yeah, but I wouldn’t let them invalidate me. They like to think they know what I really went through, but they don’t, and never will. They weren’t there for the sleepless nights I stayed up crying until I couldn’t breathe. They weren’t there when I would disassociate. They don’t know what it felt like to long for any kind of release from it all. They weren’t there, period.

I had family members who thought my very real feelings and emotions were fake. Even worse, they gossiped among themselves about it, as if they knew even an ounce of what they were talking about. They thought my diagnosis wasn’t real. It hurt, but after awhile I understood that their toxicness was not on me. I know what I went through, and continue to go through is very real, even if they don’t understand. I know what real family is about, and that isn’t it. My real family was there when no one else was.

Growing up I wasn’t surrounded by the best support system, but I managed. I manage now. But I’m much more aware of the people around me now. I’m still friends with those family members on facebook, and I still keep up with them and their lives, but I don’t consider them family anymore. They are being treated the way they treated me, and that’s only fair. It’s okay to let go of toxic family members. It’s okay to put your mental health first, and I fully encourage it. Your happiness and well being is always priority over a family member who only causes you emotional or physical harm. Don’t allow the actions of others to take away from your life. Family, or not.

That’s all on this topic. It was more of a venting session than anything, but I needed to get how I felt and was affected by these people off my chest so I could continue to move forward.

Until next time,

Bailey