Anxiety.

Anxiety can sometimes feel like you’re drowning. And you gasp, and you gasp for air that never can quite fill your lungs. It feels like a fist around your neck, growing tighter, with no plan in sight to give in. It feels like the depth of your stomach has found it’s way to the crook of your neck, and you’re scratching to free it. Although I’m giving vivid examples, I know there are still people out there that won’t understand. Or even just feel it differently.

Anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the United States alone. With 40 million people affected each year, anxiety has become the reason a lot of people take multiple breaks at work. It’s become the reason people can’t call their doctors to make appointments, or don’t leave their house for weeks on end.

For me, anxiety comes in many forms. A sick stomach, a chest that feels like it’s trying to tear itself from my skeleton. It’s something I feel on a day to day basis, but I’m working on it with the help of my therapist.

One thing that helps me is grounding myself. What does that look like? Quite literally, grounding myself. I put my feet flat on the floor, I close my eyes, and I focus on my feet, and then my ankles, and then my calves, and so on and so forth. Just keeping my attention on my body, and not what’s causing me anxiety helps talk me off the ledge (so to speak).

Often times anxiety comes with a friend — depression. Anxiety and depression go hand in hand, and are caused from a variety of things. Whether that be your personality traits, life events, or just plain ol’ genetics. Anxiety and depression are more common than not. It can cause some confusion with how you’re feeling though. Like that anxiety attack you had in the walk in cooler at the back corner of your job? Was that because you were anxious about something, or are you depressed and some outside factor caused you to break down? The truth is, these breakdowns can feel an awfully lot alike. That month you spent staring at your apartment grow its own filth? Caused by depression, yet continued on with anxiety.

If I’m being honest, anxiety is a hard topic to speak on. It’s such a vast mental health topic and issue that there’s many things one person can feel, and another person won’t. The ways I described it in the first paragraph , might not resonate with everyone. And that’s okay! I don’t expect the way it feels for me to be the way it feels for you. One thing I’ve learned is that anxiety and depression are fully treatable illnesses (even if it feels like it doesn’t). Like take me for example, I’m working on it every single day, but I am on a variety of medications. Which again, is okay! Once you accept that your anxiety will uncomfortably always be yours and yours only, you can move on to heal.

Thank you for reading, I hope this gave some insight on anxiety and all of its factors.

Love, Bailey