Mental Health Awareness Month

With May being mental health awareness month, I feel the need to come on to this platform and give a “speech” so to speak. Something uplifting, something informative. But at this moment in my life, I just can’t. 

2021 broke me, and I spent the year chasing something that never came. 2022 is going so fast, and I feel like I’m still stuck in the past. Losing my mom, feeling an overwhelming sense of grief. Being hospitalized again under suicide watch. It feels like it never ends. 

I sit and I write constantly, and my zine was a baby of that art. Dream Girl Diaries was my soul put into words. Writing that, and putting the pages together gave me a sense of purpose. And to have so many people support me and buy a copy, and help fund the book entirely is incredible. 

I’ve definitely been focusing on my art lately. Both my illustrative drawings, and my poetry. I’m just writing and writing and hoping one day to put them all into an actual PUBLISHED book! A girl can dream. 

So I can’t say life is only bad. I have some highs, I have some lows. But being borderline, and bipolar, those highs and lows are more extreme than the average human. 

Most days I daydream about a world without me in it, and it feels so nice. I know there are a select few people who would care if I left, but overall, in the grand scheme of things, time will go on, just like it always has. 

To sum this up, I am not okay. But I am trying to be the rock my family and friends needs me to be. It’s an awful feeling, to be tied down to something when all you want to do is leave. I hope one day this will all be over. Whatever that entails. 

As always, thank you for reading. 

Love, Bailey