Learning to Open up About Trauma

Living day to day with imbedded trauma is equally as traumatic as the event itself. For some people,  (me), the trauma comes in waves of intrusive thoughts and flashbacks. Though I don’t know much about trauma itself as far as it goes psychologically, I do know that holding it in will only make it worse.

Recently I opened up to a friend about my past and it scared me. I was afraid (still am) that my personal trauma would be exposed to people who’d abuse it. Trust is something that is earned, not given. Putting my trust into this person scared me, but I felt it needed to be talked about. And in doing so I found clarity over the situation too, making it easier for me to work towards letting it go.

Now being open with my partner has helped our relationship grow in such a healthy way. I’ve expressed everything about my past to him, and he’s been more than empathetic about it with me. He’s there when the flashbacks hit too hard, and he’s there when my thoughts turn into my emotions. Having that safety net has helped me heal a little day by day.

Although I don’t think my trauma related ptsd will ever go away, I do think I will find acceptance in it. Facing the things I tend to hide from is not easy, but it is necessary. Just remember that healing isn’t linear, it has it’s ups and downs. But progress is being made, and with that knowledge you can find your strength. In the meantime if you ever need support, I am always here.

Bailey