Reflection

As I came across my 25th year, I began to reflect on the growth I’ve endured in the past 5 years alone.

When I was 20, I thought it was going to me my year. I had high expectations, only to be met with the pain of personal growth.

When I was 20, back in 2017, I found myself in and out of hospitals trying to work on my mental health, and get a proper diagnosis and medication. By 2018 I had already been hospitalized 4 times, and I had learned so much in that period of my life. Although it was hard, it helped set me up for a brighter future.

In 2018 I met my fiancé, who has changed me for the better. He gave me hope when I didn’t have much of it. He helped to build me back up when I didn’t believe it was even possible.

With the help of my loved ones, and my own will, I grew in ways I never thought were possible. I grew stability in a chaotic world, and felt real love for the what felt like the first time. I gained strength in myself, and learned healthier coping mechanisms.

Although I still have bad days, they are fewer than they’ve ever been. I’ve found happiness in day to day life. I owe a lot to the nurses and doctors who helped me get on a medication regimen that helps me feel stable and “normal.” I feel thankful for the spot that I’m in today, where I can be transparent about my past, and hopeful about my future all at the same time.

Reflection is a beautiful thing. Especially when you get the opportunity to look at your past and say, “I’ve grown from that.” I’ve outlived myself, in the sense that in the past I never saw a future. Today, I see so much to look forward to, and I’m so grateful for all the steps I took to get to this point. All the people I’ve met that have shaped me into the woman I am today. So so grateful. 20 year old me couldn’t even dream about where 25 year old me is at, and that’s something I don’t take for granted. So make sure to take time to reflect on your progress and reward yourself for all that you have become. The past will forever live in the past if you don’t let it torment your present, or break into your future. And remember that tomorrow is a new day, and even when times are tough, you can always find something to be grateful for.

Always,
Bailey